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Polar Jokes

Polar Jokes

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Q1. What do you call 500 penguins in King's College Chapel? A: Lost!

Q2. How do penguins drink? A: Out of beakers

Q3. How much will a penguin pay for his dinner? A: Six squid

Q4. What do you call a happy polar bear? A: You don't, you just run!

Q5. Why are penguins good racing drivers? A: Because they're always in pole postion

Q6. Where do penguins go to dance? A: At the snow ball

Q7. What did the sea say to the iceberg? A: Nothing, it just waved

Q8. Tourist to small boy: Does it ever stop snowing in Greenland? Small boy: I don't know, I'm only 13.

Q9: What is Father Christmas's wife called? A: Mary Christmas!
Supplied by Amrik Gill, Manchester, aged 10.

Q10. What do polar bears eat for lunch? A. Ice burgers

Q11. What is an Ig? A. An eskimo's house without conveniences

Q12. What do baby penguins sing when their father brings fish home? A. Freeze a jolly good felow

Q13. How do Antarctic penguins decide who goes to fish? A. Flipper coin

Q14. What do penguins wear on their heads? A. Ice caps

Q15. What are polar bears' favourite dessert? A. Baked Alaska

Q16. How does an eskimo build its house? A. Igloos it together

Q17. What do Siberians drive in over the snow? A. Arcticulated trucks

Q18. What does a penguin wear on rainy days? A. His mackerel

Q19. What do you give a sick Lapland bunting? A. Tweetment

Q20. What did the Eskimo detective ask? A. Where were you on the night of 21 September to 21 March?
Found in Seamus Deane's novel: Reading in the Dark, by John Harrison aged 47.

Q.21 Why are penguins' shops so busy? A. Because the fish fillet.

Q.22 What's black and white and has eight wheels? A. A penguin on roller skates.

Q.23 What's black and white and red? A. A penguin who's been in the sun too long.

Q.24 What do female penguins get for Christmas? A. Fish net stockings.

Q.25 How do you stop a Polar Bear from charging? A. You take away its credit card.

Q.26 Which fish lives on frozen lakes? A. The Ice-Skate.

Q. Why don't polar bears eat penguins? A. Because they can't get the wrapper off
Supplied by Paul Cooper, BAS, Cambridge.